Introduction:

In our lifelong pursuit of happiness, it’s crucial to remember that true contentment lies within ourselves. Happiness cannot be brought, or found in other people’s approval. It is found in a peacefulness inside.  

In our pursuit of happiness, we must acknowledge a powerful truth; if we are not happy, it is our responsibility to make changes. 

This realisation can be both empowering and daunting. It requires us to confront reality. How can we expect someone else to love and respect us, if we don’t love and respect our true self, our unique qualities?  

This is not always easy, we come from a world where social media suggests we can buy happiness:

• Chocolate
• Wine
• Botox
• New Clothes 

 but the bottom line is, happiness can not be brought, it comes from within.

To break free from this cycle, we must summon the courage to step out of our comfort zone and societal norms and embrace the unknown. Change may not always be easy, but it is essential for our personal growth and happiness. 

Steps to discover who you truly are and finding the happiness you deserve.

Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions

Do you often rely on others to make you happy, seeking validation from a partner, friend, or parent? While it’s natural to seek support and love from others, it’s important to recognise that true happiness and emotional well-being come from within, and comes from accepting our authentic self. 

Taking responsibility for your emotions is crucial, especially if you struggle with low self-esteem. It’s common for individuals to blame their unhappiness on others, attributing it to hurtful comments from their partners or critical words they received from their parents at a young age.  Don’t get me wrong, these comments and life experiences do hurt and can stay with us.  

But the truth is that when you get into adulthood you have the power to decide your own self-worth, happiness, and overall emotional state. It’s essential to understand that no one else can determine your value or control how you feel about yourself.

• It’s important to recognise that you have the power to walk away from toxic situations and take control of your emotional well-being. 
• By taking responsibility for your emotions, you can choose not to engage in harmful interactions or allow others to dictate how you feel about yourself. 
• You deserve respect, happiness, and a positive emotional state, and it’s up to you to prioritise your own well-being.

Remember, you hold the key to your own happiness and emotional fulfilment. 

By recognising your self-worth and setting healthy boundaries, you can create a more positive and empowering environment for yourself. 

Embrace your ability to make choices that support your emotional well-being and surround yourself with individuals who uplift and respect you.

“A father before he died said to his son: “This is a rugby ball your grandfather gave me, and it is more than a century old.  But before I give it to you, go to the sports shop and tell them you want to sell it, and see how much he offers you.

The son went and came back to his father and said, “The sports shop offered me £5 because it is old.

So his father said, “try the second hand shop”.

So he did and came back stating “They have also only offered me £5”

“Okay, one last place said his father, go to the museum and show them the ball”

So he went and came back, this time he said to his father “They offered me £500,000 for this old leather ball”.

The father said. “I wanted to let you know that the right place values you in the right way.

Don’t find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued. Those that know your value are those that appreciate you.  Don’t stay in a place where nobody sees you value”

Four Steps to discover how to be happy with yourself and who you truly are:

1. Self Acceptance:

The first step towards being truly happy with yourself is accepting who you are, flaws and all, none of us are perfect!  Often, we are our own harshest critics, focusing on our shortcomings and failures while ignoring our strengths and achievements.

Flip this and acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments.  By taking the time to recognise and appreciate our strengths, we cultivate a positive self-image and boost our self-confidence.  

If you don’t appreciate your strengths and achievements, how do you expect anyone else to?

• Acknowledging your unique talents, unique strengths and greatest accomplishments.
• Recognise that everyone has flaws, they make us human. Concentrate on your strength, and your weakness, either let them go, or if they are important, view them as areas for growth and development.
• Put yourself first, this is far from being narcissistic or self-centred; it’s about acknowledging your worth and taking care of your own needs. When you let go of the expectations of others and take care of your needs first, you feel good and when you feel good, you are an inspiration to those around you.

2. Prioritising Physical Health:

Your physical health plays a significant role in determining how happy and strong you feel. Making regular exercise part of our daily routine releases endorphins (the ‘feel-good’ hormones), improves sleep quality, boosts energy levels, reduces stress levels which all contribute towards happiness.

Similarly, eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins can provide essential nutrients needed for optimal brain function, enhancing mood regulation hence making us happier.

Again this is about you taking responsibility for your health, no one else can do this, you have to decide you are worth the effort.  It will take effort initially, but in time that initial effort will turn into consistency, and with consistency comes results, and hopefully the result you get from feeling fitter and healthier will be worth the effort!

• Make time for regular exercise.  If you haven’t exercised for a while and are not sure where to start, just get out of the door and walk for 10 mins.  Just getting out the door is a win, once out if you just do 10 mins great, know that next week maybe you could do 15 mins.  Try it, even if you find it hard getting out the door, I bet you won’t regret it when you come back in!
• We are what we eat!  More and more evidence is out there about the negative effects sugar and processed foods have on our health and well-being.  Take an honest look at what you eat, then aim to make small changes to food intake.  Studies have shown the standard cereals for breakfast do not give us a good start to the day, so maybe start with changing your breakfast, try and add more protein and fibre into your day.  (Yoghurts with seeds and nuts or a savoury breakfast with eggs)
• Surround yourself with information on what healthy food is.  In society today, we are bombarded with adverts of people being happy eating chocolate or drinking wine and it becomes normal.  Step outside of this and surround yourself with healthy information, which will enable you to make educated choices.  I would suggest starting with the ZOE PODCAST.

3. Building Positive Relationships:

Humans are social creatures by nature; we thrive on connection & interaction with others. Positive relationships, bring positive emotions, surround yourself with like-minded people, that not only brings emotional support but also contribute towards our sense of belonging & purpose, key elements of happiness & strength.

• You are only responsible for your happiness.  It is essential to acknowledge that we are solely responsible for our own happiness. It is equally important to recognise that we cannot shoulder the burden of other people’s happiness. While we can offer support and some kind words, ultimately, they must undertake the necessary work themselves. 
• Surround yourself with uplifting, like-minded people, who appreciate your true qualities.  Find the right people, a social circle with individuals who genuinely recognise and appreciate your positive qualities and unique self, those who leave you feeling happy and uplifted. Surrounding yourself with such positive influences is vital for your well-being.
• Set boundaries with those who drain your energy.  It is important to establish healthy boundaries with those who drain your energy. By setting clear limits, you protect yourself from negativity and preserve your own vitality. Embracing this approach allows you to cultivate fulfilling relationships while safeguarding your own emotional balance.

4. Set Personal Goals:

To truly be happy with ourselves, we must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and challenge the familiar. Our brains naturally gravitate towards repetition and the familiar, as it provides a sense of safety and security. However, by embracing bravery and courage, we open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities for growth. Stepping out of our comfort zones allows us to explore activities, hobbies, and passions that genuinely bring us joy.

• Overcoming Fear: The biggest fear we have to overcome is the fear of failure, but once we understand that there is no such thing as failure, it is just success in progress, then we can really understand that the only failure is not to try in the first place. 
• Fear can be paralysing, preventing us from pursuing our dreams and aspirations. However, by acknowledging and confronting our fears, we can build resilience and confidence. It’s important to remember that fear is a normal human emotion, but it doesn’t have to define our actions. “What if I fall, but oh darling, what if you fly”!
• Expanding Our Comfort Zones:  Stepping out of our comfort zones requires embracing the unknown and venturing into new territories. It takes bravery and courage to break free from the familiar and explore uncharted waters. By doing so, we open ourselves up to exciting possibilities and opportunities for personal growth. 
• Whether it’s trying a new hobby, taking on a challenging project, changing career path or engaging in a new social setting, embracing the unknown helps us discover hidden talents, strengths, and passions that can ultimately lead to greater happiness and fulfilment.
• Living a Life Full of Experiences: When we start living a life full of experiences that we enjoy, something remarkable happens. We begin to attract other like-minded individuals, who share similar interests and values. 
• Suddenly, our tribe can change, and we find ourselves surrounded by individuals who appreciate and support our authentic selves. This shift is powerful because it allows us to build connections based on genuine compatibility, leading to more fulfilling relationships.

Conclusion:

Understanding how to be happy with yourself is a journey of self-discovery that involves embracing authenticity, accepting our flaws, prioritising health, and resisting the temptation of materialism. 

Just as a seed grows into a beautiful flower, happiness blossoms when we nurture personal growth, no more negative self-talk, but accepting ourselves, and focus on what truly matters. 

By living authentically, we attract people who share our values and support us, forming a like-minded community that uplifts and connects with us. 

Remember, happiness is not a final destination but our own journey that starts and ends with self-love and acceptance.

Need help?

If you resonate with this blog, but feel you need a little extra help to embrace change, maybe hypnotherapy could be the answer.  

As a qualified hypnotherapist, I can guide you towards a preferred future and using trance we can let go of past limiting beliefs, empowering you to live your best life. 

It offers a holistic approach to helping you develop a positive mindset and promoting overall well-being. 

With the power of hypnotherapy, you can find renewed balance, resilience, and a greater sense of control over your life.

If you would like further information, please feel free to reach out to me for an informal chat.